Battle of the Sexes
Is it survival of the fittest? Or a continuing saga of the missing rib?
Why is it that women are always referred to as the better half?
Why is it that men never ask for directions and women are always giving them?
Why, why, why???
Words of Wisdom!
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white...
read moreMowing and beer
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came overand shouted at me,...
read moreSensitive Husband
This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff’s deputies there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and...
read moreSigns from the heavens. . .
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance… The...
read moreMoe and Joe . . .
Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’
read moreThe curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words...
read moreShe fit the requirements . . .
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’ ‘Me neither...
read moreThe settlement
‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce Court Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,’ ‘That’s very fair,...
read moreMen in heaven
When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household,and the...
read moreHusbands say the darndest things . . . foolishly . . .
My wife asked me, “Howmany women have you slept with?” I proudly replied, “Only you, Darling. With all the others I stayed awake.” Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8...
read moreDad’s say the darndest things . . .
A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?’ The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still ha
read moreTwo Lovely Poems
THE WOMAN POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep. One who’s handsome, smart, and strong. One who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he...
read moreIt takes an engineer . . .
How the word boob was invented Only a male engineer would come up with this one....
read moreClasses for Women
Fall Classes for Women at the ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Saturday October 30, 2010 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY and DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES...
read moreSenior Romance
Senior Romance!!! I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried...
read moreMarriage bliss . . .
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want...
read more“Scooby Dooby Dooby”
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He told her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, ‘Scooby...
read moreThe Blanket
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep....
read moreWhere’s the rake?
Subject: It’s the Rake, Stupid! A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can’t find the rake. He yells up to his wife, “Where is the...
read moreThe loan
Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife, legs spread wide,...
read moreThe Fairy Godmother
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, A Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill 3 Wishes for her. “Well,” said the woman, “I guess...
read moreThink before gesturing to a woman driver………………………
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently upset the driver off enough that he...
read morePolictically Correct in 1943
WRITTEN IN 1943!! The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World...
read moreThe sex of things . . .
You may not know this, but many non-living things have a gender. 1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers are Female, because once...
read moreHow to stay married . . .
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a...
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