Battle of the Sexes

Battle of the Sexes

 Is it survival of the fittest? Or a continuing saga of the missing rib?

 Why is it that women are always referred to as the better half? 

Why is it that men never ask for directions and women are always giving them?

Why, why, why???

A Woman’s Brain

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved. Good thing a man’s brain requires only two...

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A good woman is hard to find

Posted by on Mar 31, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife – she ain’t spoke to me in...

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Why women shouldn’t take men shopping . . .

Posted by on Mar 31, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife...

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Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

Posted by on Mar 31, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

TwoLadies Talking in Heaven    Hi, Wanda!   Hi, Sylvia!  How’d you die?    I froze to death.   How horrible!    It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to...

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Love Dress

Posted by on Mar 29, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music...

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Computers must be male

Posted by on Mar 29, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.  ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la...

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Happy and Sad

Posted by on Mar 29, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

  Happy and Sad   A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”.  The husband turned to his wife and said,...

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: I – what?

Posted by on Mar 26, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

  For my son’s Birthday we bought him an iPod, my daughter had an iPhone for hers and for my Birthday I was pleased to receive an iPad. Thinking along the same lines I got my wife an iRon...

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Husband down

Posted by on Mar 26, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

  A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket: the husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart.   ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the...

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Man Talk

Posted by on Mar 26, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Man sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.” She asks, “Is that you, or the beer talking?” He replies, “It’s me… talking to the

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Skirt Zipper

Posted by on Mar 26, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

SKIRT ZIPPER - As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly...

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Man

Posted by on Mar 24, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. ~Mahatma Gandhi           Man Man is a woman’s best...

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Why men are never depressed . . .

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Men Are Just Happier People– What do you expect from such simple creatures?  Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.  Chocolate is just...

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The resurrection

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A man and his  ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem .   While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker  told the   husband, “You can have her buried here in the Holy...

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The toilet paper

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up...

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Its officially my turn to speak . . .

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know...

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The proposal

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage...

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The hundred $ tattoo

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, “Where the hell have you been?” “I was out getting a tattoo.” “A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you...

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Tee off. . .

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops...

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I’ll wait for you at the pearly gates. . .

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes, Religous Humor | 0 comments

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all...

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The Wal-mart Greeter

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly ‘Good...

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A little flab . .

Posted by on Mar 19, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt and said ‘If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.’ While this was...

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