Tough Shit Amigo
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee
outside an Arizona immigration office.
“Good man,” the fairy said, “I’ve been sent here by President Obama
and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the
United States with your wife and eight children.”
The man told the fairy, “Well, where I come from we don’t have good
teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.”
The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !– he
had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
“What else?” asked the fairy, “Two more to go.”
The refugee claimant now got bolder. “I need a big house with a
three-car garage in Scottsdale on the golf course with eight bedrooms
for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my
country.. I want to bring them all over here” — and — PING !– in
the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car
garage, a long driveway, and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale
neighborhood overlooking the golf course.
“One more wish,” said the fairy, waving her wand.
“Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American
clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of
this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans” —and
PING ! — The man was transformed – wearing worn-out jeans, a Arizona
Cardinal T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and
the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
“What happened to my new teeth?” he wailed. “Where is my new house?”
(THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . . NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD . . . . . . .)
The fairy said:
”Tough shit, Amigo, now that you are a white American, you have to
fend for yourself.”