Driving under the influence
There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain. Two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up.
They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old man’s face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window!
The passenger screamed out, “eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There’s an old guy’s face there!” (Was this a ghost!?!?!?) This old man kept knocking, so the driver said “well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!”
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, “What do you want???” The old man softly replied, “You have any tobacco?”
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, “He wants tobacco!” “Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!” the driver replies. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells “Step on it!!!”, rolling up the window in terror.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, “What do you think of that?” The driver says, “I don’t know? How could that be? I was going pretty fast, but don’t worry, the Speedo says 80 now.”
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old man again. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaa, there he is again!”, the passenger yells.
“Well, see what he wants now!” yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says “Yes?” “Do you have a light?” the old man quietly asks. The driver throws a lighter out of the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, “I’M STEPPING ON IT!”
They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again, there is more knocking!
“Oh my God! HE’S BACK!” He rolls down the window and screams out, “WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?” in stark terror.
The old man gently replies, “You want some help getting out of the mud?