Entertainment
From games to photography, this section will capture your attention with a myriad of contributions from our network of contributors.
Not a registered contributor . . . email me with your selected user name (animal or farm related) and I’ll get you registered giddyfilly@atTheFunnyFarm.org . Do note registration is limited to friends, family, colleagues or by recommendation from someone already in the network. All registrants must be over 18 years of age or close in age and approved for participation by their registered parent.
2011 anomalies
This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all…
Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born, then add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone…!!
This year Both July and October will have 5 three day weekends. That is 5 Saturdays 5 Sundays and 5 Mondays. This happens only every 823 years…
Niagara Falls ran dry
Click here to see picks of Niagara Falls in 1969 when the water was the flow of Niagara River was diverted so US engineers could do some restructuring on the american side.
Japan . . . in the wake of disaster 2011
Click here to see some incredible photos from Japan March 16th
Puns for the intelligent
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown-a-part.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14 . A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Gras.
15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
Eternal Questions
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
English signs from around the world
Say what you mean and mean what you say, or something like that.
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
The Giraffe Test
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1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.< B>
2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used b y croc odiles, and
< B> Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
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Chinese translations
Some Chinese translations you will not find in the little tranlsation travel book:
English phrase Chinese Interpretation
——————— ——————————-
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Gai
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high! No Bai Dam Ding!!
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift Chin Tu Fat
It’s very dark in here Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright Yu So Dum
I got this for free Ai No Pei
I am not guilty Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight Lei Lo
He’s cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive Yu stin ki pu
Pew! does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?
Breakdance
getting down with choreographing your guys breakdance. . . click here
compliments of Tomas at One Motion