Battle of the Sexes

Battle of the Sexes

 Is it survival of the fittest? Or a continuing saga of the missing rib?

 Why is it that women are always referred to as the better half? 

Why is it that men never ask for directions and women are always giving them?

Why, why, why???

Words of Wisdom!

Posted by on Aug 7, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white...

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Mowing and beer

Posted by on Jul 24, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came overand shouted at me,...

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Sensitive Husband

Posted by on Jul 13, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff’s deputies there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and...

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11 Phrases Men Use

Posted by on May 14, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A sequel to 9 Women Phrases    

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9 Phrases Women Use . . .

Posted by on May 14, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Tuning in to

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Signs from the heavens. . .

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes, Religous Humor | 0 comments

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of  thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance… The...

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Moe and Joe . . .

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’

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The curse

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words...

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She fit the requirements . . .

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took  the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’ ‘Me neither...

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The settlement

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce Court  Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,’ ‘That’s very fair,...

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Men in heaven

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household,and the...

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Husbands say the darndest things . . . foolishly . . .

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

My wife asked me, “Howmany women have you slept with?” I proudly replied, “Only you, Darling. With all the others I stayed awake.” Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8...

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Dad’s say the darndest things . . .

Posted by on May 12, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?’ The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,   cause I still ha

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Two Lovely Poems

Posted by on May 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

THE WOMAN POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep. One who’s handsome, smart, and strong. One who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he...

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It takes an engineer . . .

Posted by on May 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

How the word boob was invented   Only a male engineer would come up with this one....

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Classes for Women

Posted by on Apr 18, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Fall Classes for Women at the ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Saturday October 30, 2010 NOTE:  DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY and DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES...

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Senior Romance

Posted by on Apr 14, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes, Senior Moments | 0 comments

Senior Romance!!! I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.   I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried...

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Marriage bliss . . .

Posted by on Apr 8, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

         Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady        and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:        “I’ll be home when I want, if I want...

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“Scooby Dooby Dooby”

Posted by on Apr 8, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He told her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, ‘Scooby...

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The Blanket

Posted by on Apr 6, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to  the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial  embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep....

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Where’s the rake?

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Subject: It’s the Rake, Stupid! A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can’t find the rake. He yells up to his wife, “Where is the...

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The loan

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife, legs spread wide,...

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The Fairy Godmother

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, A Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill 3 Wishes for her. “Well,” said the woman, “I guess...

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The Classifieds

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

           FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.             8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.        ...

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Think before gesturing to a woman driver………………………

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently upset the driver off enough that he...

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Riddle

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? Because they are plugged into a genius………..

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Polictically Correct in 1943

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

WRITTEN IN 1943!!  The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue  of Transportation  Magazine. This was serious and written for male  supervisors of women in the  work force during World...

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The sex of things . . .

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

You may not know this, but many non-living things have a gender. 1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers are Female, because once...

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How to stay married . . .

Posted by on Apr 4, 2011 in Battle of the Sexes | 0 comments

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a...

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