Marriage bliss . . .


       Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady

       and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

       “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time

       I want – and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I

       expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell

       you. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and

       card-playing when I want with my old buddies and

       don’t you give me a hard time about it.

       Those are my rules. Any comments?”

       His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just

       understand that there’ll be sex here at seven o’clock

       every night – whether you’re here or not.”


     Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of

      their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells,

       “When you  die, I’m getting you a headstone that

       reads, ‘Here Lies My  Wife – Cold As Ever’.”

      “Yeah” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a

       headstone that reads, “Here Lies My Husband – Stiff At



       A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to

       go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t

       want any pain killers because I’m in a big hurry,” the

       woman said.  “Just extract the tooth as quickly as

       possible, and we’ll be on our way.”

       The  dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a

       courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?”

       The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him

       your tooth, dear.”


       A man has six children and is very proud of his

       achievement.  He is so proud of himself that he starts

       calling his wife “Mother of Six” in spite of her

       objections. One night they go to a party. The man

       decides that it`s time to go home, and wants to find

       out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts

       at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home Mother of


       His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of

       discretion shouts back. “Anytime you`re ready, Father

       of Four!”


       One doctor husband and his wife are having a fight at

       the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and

       says, “and you are no good in bed either” and storms

       out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was

       nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She

       comes to phone after many rings and the irritated

       husband says “what took you so long to answer the


     She says, “I was in bed”.

     “In bed this late, doing what”?

     “Getting a second opinion” she says.

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