Two Lovely Poems

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who’s not a creep.

One who’s handsome, smart, and strong.

One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks.

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

Will pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh, send a king to make me queen.

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And relish visits with my mother.

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac gymnast with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me hunting, fishing and drinking.
This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a crap.

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