A few late night St Patrick’s Day quotes . . .

A few late night St Patrick’s Day quotes . . .
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Did you hear? A bar in New York City has banned the song “Danny Boy.” On St. Patrick’s Day! Isn’t that outrageous? It’s like West Hollywood banning the song “It’s Raining Men.” 

Late Night with Conan O’Brien
We had our famous St. Patrick’s Day parade today. It started out on 44th Street and ended up in rehab. 

Late Show with David Letterman
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Tomorrow, of course, its Let’s Join AA Day. 

Up in Albany today, women were wearing buttons that say, Kiss Me I’m $4,000. 

They were celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in Washington. President Bush was so confused. He came out onto the White House lawn and pardoned the corn beef. 

Tragedy today. Mayor Bloomberg was in the St. Patrick’s Day parade, and he was hit by a jumping stock broker.

Today Hillary Clinton said the war would end up costing $1 trillion. She wasn’t talking about Iraq, she was talking about her war with Barack Obama. 

It’s been reported that Barack Obama’s Secret Service name is Renegade, and Hillary Clinton’s Secret Service name is Evergreen. Meanwhile, John McCain’s Secret Service name is Enlarged Prostate. 

The new governor of New York is blind, which is a big improvement. If he’s ever caught with a prostitute, he can say “I thought it was my wife.” 

By now, we all know what happened to Eliot Spitzer, the old governor of New York. Last week he was caught with a high-class call-girl. I am not sure what makes a call-girl high-class. I think they use an English accent when they spank you.

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