Southern slang, or “Hickphonics,” as a language is to be taught in all

Southern schools.  Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/ English dictionary:

HEIDI – noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW – Complete sentence.  Remainder of greeting.  Usage: “Heidi. Hire yew.”

BARD – verb.  Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”  Usage: “My Brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH – noun.  A state just north of Florida.  Capital is Hot-lanta.   Usage: ”My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”

MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.  Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t heared from him in munts.”

FAR – noun. A conflagration.  Usage:  “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.”

BAHS – noun.  A supervisor.  Usage:  “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!”

TAR – noun.  A tall monument.  Usage:  “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tar in Paris sometime.”

RETARD – verb. To stop working.  Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

TARRED – adverb.  Exhausted.  Usage:  “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”

ARE – pronoun.  Possessive case of we, used as a predicate adjective.

RHATS – noun.  Entitled power or privilege.  Usage:  “We Southerners are willin’ to fot for are rhats.”

FARN – adjective.  Not local.  Usage:  “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed …must be from some farn country.”

DID – adjective.  Not alive.  Usage:  “He’s did, Jim.”

EAR – noun.   A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).  Usage: “He cain’t breathe … give ‘im some ear!”

BOB WAR – noun.  A sharp, twisted cable.  Usage:  “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

JEW HERE – Noun and verb contraction.  Usage:  “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”

HAZE – contraction.  Usage:  “Is Bubba smart?”  “Nah … haze ignert.”

SEED – verb, past tense.   Usage:  “I seed how you was.”

GUMMIT – noun.  A bureaucratic institution. Usage: “Them gummit boys shore are ignert.”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.